You just made me feel so damn special
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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