Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
