Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
