it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
