Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
