last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
