Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
