i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
