one might say we're banned from that church
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
