I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
This gyro tastes like lonliness
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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