you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
