There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
