We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I have aggressive nipples.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
