Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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