and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
