I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize