Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
