At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Randomize
