Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
