just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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