My nipple is on Facebook.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
