One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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