can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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