He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
