Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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