i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
