Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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