People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Just pee around me
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
