I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
