i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I could make wine with my vomit
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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