Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
