oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
