I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
high people should be assigned attendants
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Randomize
