I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
