Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
