i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
