I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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