I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Ketchup is God's man juice
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Randomize
