I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
