Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
