Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
