If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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