her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
