I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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