you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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