Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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