pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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