shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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