About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
