is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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