Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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