There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
