Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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