he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
