thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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