so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
