Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
