So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
high people should be assigned attendants
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Randomize
