i don't plan on having that self control this summer
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
