she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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