you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
