Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
PANTIES FOUND
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
